Monday, May 28, 2007

A Trip To The Zoo

I splurged and purchased another annual pass to the Hogle Zoo last Friday. The girls didn't have school, so we made arrangements to spend the morning at the zoo with a couple of friends.

The new exhibit is the 'Ghost of the Bayou' which is a white alligator. It's not the same as an albino alligator, because albino's have NO pigmentation, while the white alligator has pigmentation in it's eyes, but not the rest of its body. They are very rare because their white skin doesn't allow them to hide from predators very well, plus they sunburn very easily!

The picture of the entire alligator makes me chuckle because it looks like a toy alligator. It just doesn't look real!

We also attended a bird show, and I got this awesome photograph of a Bald Eagle.

The girls seemed to enjoy themselves. The Princess was particularly happy to have friends to play with.


Sunday, May 27, 2007

Oh, If Only!

Parade Magazine always does a yearly special on 'What People Earn.' Stay-at-home Moms don't get paid, but here's a rough estimate of what my salary might be IF only someone would pay it for me.

Earnings Statement

Job TitleHourly RateHours Worked
Day Care Center Teacher$12.181,082
Cook - Institution$12.45530
Computer Operator I$14.88426
Laundry Machine Operator$8.82504
Facilities Manager$36.67484
Van Driver$14.39645
Chief Executive Officer$163.43213

Regular Hourly Rate$21.812,080$45,375
Overtime Rate$32.723,567$116,727

Depending on the day, I might do more housework, or less cooking... but I still don't think it's accurate because being a Mom is a 24-hour a day job, and this doesn't quite account for it. And c'mon, what about my pay as a doctor? Or at the very least, Nurse??? Not to mention, but don't you think a Psychologist gets paid more than $34.86 an hour? However, no one is here to cut me a check, so maybe it doesn't matter so much.

How much do you earn as a Stay-At-Home Mom?


Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hand Jive

When I was a child, I was intrigued by 'clapping games' or, as The King refers to it, 'Hand Jive.' It wasn't very popular here in Utah, possibly because it seems to be strongly associated with the African American community, which wasn't prominent in my neighborhood as a child. I would catch glimpses of these games on TV and thought it looked like fun, but aside from eventually learning "Say Say Oh Playmate" that was it. When I went to girls camp at about the age of 13, I learned 'Down By The Banks', but alas, my hand jive education came to an end.

Recently I've been thinking that it might be fun to teach The Princess some of these games. I've seen 4 and 5 year olds become quite skilled at these games, some with very intricate hand moves, so she should be able to learn them. I've started looking on the internet for more chants, but it's difficult to find ones that have instructions for the movement. Perhaps that's a part of the beauty of 'hand jive'... making up your own actions! I am not good at this. Maybe The Princess' African American's heritage will lend her this talent? One can always hope.

Something else I never realized is how ribald some of this material is. I'm looking for the clean stuff, but I have to admit that this version of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' had The King and I laughing hysterically. You can view a video of it here.

Mary had a little lamb
She also had a duck
she took him round the corner
and taught him how to
fry an eggs for breakfast
fry your eggs for tea
the more you eat
the more drink
the more you want to
Peter had a boat
the boat began to rock
out jumped jaws
and bit him on the
cocktail, ginger ale, forty cents a glass
if you don't drink then
shove it up your
ask no questions
tell no lies
I saw two policemen
doing up their
flies are bad, mosquitoes are worse
I saw the doctor
lying on the nurse
nurse him well
if you don't you will go to
helicopter, helicopter turn around,
If you crash you'll fall to the ground!

Were there any clapping songs you learned as a kid that I can teach my 7-year old daughter and ensure that she won't be getting kicked out of school for? :)

So far my 'clean' collection includes 'Miss Mary Mack', 'Double Double This That', and 'My Aunty Anna'. I would love to find a longer version of 'Down, Down, Baby' - the first part is fine, but then it always gets a little ribald.

By the way, the word of the day is ribald.

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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Run, Run, As Fast As You Can

The Dragon and I went to the bus stop to pick up The Princess after school. While there, we sat and chatted with one of our friends who was also waiting for her child to arrive.

As expected, the school bus eventually arrived, and our precious cargo was delivered safe and sound. The weather was beautiful, the children were happy, so we stayed at the bus stop and continued our little chat while the children happily scampered in the sunlight.

Naturally, the longer the children scampered the more rambunctious they became. The Dragon kept disappearing around the corner of a busy street. I called for her to come back but The Princess informed me that The Dragon was out of my vocal range, so I went to investigate.

Sure enough, The Dragon was rapidly making her way down the street. I yelled. She couldn't hear me. I tried to run - there just ain't no use - she's way too fast and way too far away. My only choice is to walk as fast as I can and keep screaming her name.

The street that she was cruising down is a very wide street. It's only two lanes, but the size of it tends to invite a lot of people to speed. There are also no stop lights, stop signs, or speed bumps. The Dragon is also fairly short - not necessarily because she is small, but only that she is only 4. Four year olds are simply not THAT tall - not compared to vehicles. I am panicking.

I finally catch up to her - thank God that she remembered to STAY ON THE SIDEWALK. I was furious. She got three very hard swats on the behind as soon as I had one arm on her. I proceeded to drag her back up the street (TWO ENTIRE BLOCKS) yelling at her the entire way, even stopping to spank her two more times when we were about halfway back. I was so furious. I threw both kids in the car when we got back to the bus stop, didn't bother with their seat belts, and continued yelling at both of them the entire way home.

I stuck them both on the couch and yelled at them some more. The Princess explained that her friend wanted to 'spank The Dragon' because she 'took a weed off of a tree.' The Princess explained that they chased The Dragon, which caused her to run. The Princess said that her friend 'MADE her do it.' The Princess was told in NO UNCERTAIN TERMS that her friend can't MAKE her do anything, and that if ANYONE ever says that they are going to hurt The Dragon (or anyone else), The Princess must say 'I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT' and/or, at the very least, COME AND TELL ME. Why on earth would she think that it's OK to spank her sister? WHY? We don't allow it, if there is one rule in the Castle it is that WE DO NOT HURT PEOPLE.

So now I know WHY The Dragon ran, but I have no idea why she didn't come back when she heard me calling her. At first, I don't think she heard me. But toward the end I know she did, yet she still kept running. I know some parents have kids who love to run away from them in all kinds of situations, but honestly, that's not something that we have really ever struggled with. So WHY? Unfortunately, The Dragon doesn't know either. I can only imagine that she got scared... because she is after all, only four years old.

That's the part that kills me. The Dragon is still so little and here I was yelling, screaming and spanking her. The Dragon and I simply don't have that kind of relationship - I rarely need to raise my voice at her. She must've been terrified.

Oh, I know. Most of you probably would've done the same thing too. It's a small comfort. But I pray I will never, ever experience something like this again.

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Tomorrow, Utah, well, Draper to be precise, will have an IKEA. Everyone is going nuts. I love IKEA - it's a fun place to shop, and you can get a lot of awesome stuff for a very little amount of money. Of course, they have a lot of stuff that I can't afford, but still. Kids meals for 99-cents! Awesome cinnamon rolls! Cool picture frames! Candles! Lots-o-stuff.

Anyway, everyone is going a little bit crazy around here. The radio said that local police have been planning road routes for 9-months. 9 months? Good grief.

The radio also said that people have been camping out - a full 24 hours (plus?!?) before the grand opening.

OK. I love IKEA, but that's just ridiculous. As for us, we'll go in a week or two.


Monday, May 21, 2007

2:15 AM

It's 2:15. I'm still awake. This is not a good thing.

Need I say more?

Friday, May 18, 2007

National Bingo Night

Hey Everybody... it's BINGO night!

Are you watching? Are you playing?

It's kind-of fun knowing that you can play Bingo from your couch, and win prizes at the same time. The biggest plus? It's free!

But, I think it would be more fun if it were live (all the shows are pre-taped), and if they actually required you to send in the cards if you win.

As it is, all you have to do is print out all the cards you want, and after the game is over, go enter all the card numbers on the website and it will tell you whether or not you win.

If you can do that, what's the point in playing?

Just my two cents.

P.S. If you are hosting a PREMIER of a new 'game show' you should refrain from saying things like "5 in a row? I don't think that has ever happened before." Yeah, I don't think so either. Duh!


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Happy Mother's Day!

Before I was a Mom...
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom...
I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about

Before I was a Mom...
I had never been puked on. Pooped on. Spit on. Chewed on, Peed on. I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts. I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom...
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests. Or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom...
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom...
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom...
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much...
before I was a Mom.

(Author Unknown)

I was bombarded with gifts from the girls this morning. A plaster house from The Princess, complete with her picture in one of the windows. Two bouquets of pipe cleaner flowers. A handprint decorated with jewels from The Princess; The Dragon doesn't want to give me hers, she too attached. A card from The King. The King also let me sleep in and cooked breakfast. Yummy. He was also very funny because everytime I tried to do something (like pour myself some juice or start the dishwasher) he wouldn't let me do it. But then the race (NASCAR) started. Now I'll be giving The Dragon a bath. :P I'm not upset, it's just funny. He did say he would come and wash her hair though.

Happy Mother's Day, all ya'll!

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Monday, May 07, 2007

And So It Goes...

Today has not been fantastic. Not that I expected it to be so. After a few hours of accomplishing absolutely nothing, I convinced myself to go for a walk. I dragged the wagon with The Dragon and her dragon (costume) around the neighborhood being pretty close to miserable the entire time. At the end of the walk, I ran into a fellow church-goer named Audrey who stated that she would really love to have someone to walk with. YAHOO! We have our first 'date' tomorrow night at 8. I am hoping this will be a good thing.

The Dragon has learned some new songs thanks to my laptop. You see, with my go-anywhere-laptop we now have music on the main floor of our home. Her two new favorite songs are "Alice the Camel" and "Little Bunny Foo Foo." Oh yes, the music collections I have are absolutely amazing - perfect for the 6 and under crowd.

A New Outlook

Shortly after my depressing post yesterday, I headed for the pantry and proceeded to eat several large marshmallows. Kitchen Tip: Marshmallows stay really fresh when you store them in zip-lock bags. As I was stuffing my face, I had the thought that admitting to stuffing my face with marshmallows is the kind of stuff that makes a blog enjoyable. Well, sort-of. It's just the kind of thing that makes us relate to each other, maybe just the type of thing that draws us together and elicits comments like "OMG! I do that TOO!" It gives us a sense of belonging.

And I think that might be it. I haven't really felt like I belong anywhere.

I really don't have any close friends here in Utah. I go cropping almost every month, and while it's an activity that I enjoy, I don't have anyone that I crop with on a regular basis, and the people I meet at the crops, I really like, but our 'friendship' never extends beyond that night of cropping.

I don't have a close relationship with my Mom - certainly not the kind where we can just go shopping together, or go get manicures together... I wouldn't even say that she's my closest confidant. We get along (now that I have my own house), but that seems to be about it.

My sister-in-law... don't get me started. I think that it's simply the age difference that separates us, but I feel like we are just on opposite sides of the world.

My other brother's girlfriend is awesome - but again, we are in such different places in our life, there's just not that much we have in common. And it's hard to get together with her, because I am totally entrenched with kids, and well, she's not. She's completely entrenched with my brother - as it should be.

Church - I love 'The Church', what it stands for, what I believe in. But the people associated with my church I could really care less for right now. I feel like nobody cares whether I am there or not (as it should be, I suppose, after all, church is for me, right?), but certainly doesn't care about getting to know me outside of church. I'm not just sitting on the sideline waiting to be involved either, I've invited people over, etc, but no one is really interested. They already have their friends, so why branch out?

And school? That is, my daughters school. I think things would be different if she attended a neighborhood school and all the kids lived in our neighborhood... but we're scattered all over the school district, so there aren't a lot of close relationships unless you live near someone... and you like them.

I want a buddy! I want someone to go walking with, to 'hang out' with while our kids go crazy, someone I can trust with my kids, someone who is the 'other mom' to my kids, someone I can confide in, someone who would never say TMI - at least not without laughing hysterically with you, someone who 'gets' me.

I'm lonely.

As it is, I can't do much about it rather than keep looking for my new friend. She's got to be out there somewhere, right?

So, since I'm stuck in this icky place of one-man's land, I guess it's just time to focus on me.

I say I want to lose weight - but obviously I don't act on it. Remember the marshmallows? I would love a clutter-free home - that will never happen - but I can take steps to improve it. I want to reach the end of the day and feel like I actually accomplished SOME of the things on the never-ending-list-of-things-to-do. I want my kids to be more than couch potatoes.

I think I know how to accomplish these things. Routines. I really don't like routines. They always seem too restrictive - though I know that GOOD routines actually have the tendency to 'free' you. Honestly, routines are simply habit. We all have routines, but some of them aren't so good like the routine where you wake up, transplant yourself to the couch, watch hours of TV, go to the pantry to eat some marshmallows, and then watch some more TV until it's time for dinner where you proceed to order a pizza. That, like it or not, is a routine. DISCLAIMER: While some of these aspects are similar to my life, I want you to know that is NOT my routine.

So I need some GOOD routines in my life. Ugh. Routines.

And UGH. I just reread my post, and now I'm not even sure where I was headed with this post. If you know where I was trying to go, please let me know.

On the bright side, I watched part of 'Clifford The Big Red Dog' with The Dragon this morning, and one topic discussed was "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Apparently Clifford wants to be a fireman. I asked the Dragon what she wants to be when she grows up and she says that "I'm going to be a kid." She's going to "sleep in the same bed, and play kid stuff all day." The Dragon says that she has to be a kid because "if I was an adult I would have to take showers and who would play with my yellow duckies?" Good point.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Oh, The Strangeness!

A friend just told me that my link to The King's blog wasn't working. There's no reason why it shouldn't be working - it WAS working. I never made any changes to it since it WAS working... so why wouldn't it be working? I go to investigate, and apparently the 'link' part had completely disappeared. According to Blogger it was linked to nothing. Explain then, why, if you clicked on it, it loaded MY blog into the window.

And my 'title' has apparently disappeared. I wonder why.

I spent yesterday scrapbooking. I had a nice time away from home. I attempted to spend the afternoon scrapbooking - my creativity has flown the coop.

I have spent the afternoon various blogs and have laughed and cried at the various experiences my fellow bloggers have had.

I feel even less creative, and even more boring.

I can't even think of one cute thing my kids have said over the past few days.

I am in a downward spiral, and I'm not likin' it.


Friday, May 04, 2007

It's The King's Birthday!

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Isepik,
Happy Birthday to you!


I Carry Your Heart

I'm a big ER fan. I know a lot of people 'used to be' but I have hung in there. Last night there was a wedding on ER - Abby and Luca. Abby read this poem (with a few variations), so of course I had to post it here.

i carry your heart by ee cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)

i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


Wednesday, May 02, 2007


Blog, I'd like you to meet Cassiopeia.

Cassiopeia, Blog.

The newest member of our little universe has arrived. My laptop! Her name is Cassiopeia. Without getting into Greek Mythology, a succinct explanation would be the following:

Cassiopeia (constellation), a northern constellation representing the queen.

Appropriate, yes? The King named her for me, and I full-heartedly approve. However, The King did misspell it. :) (He insists that 'Casseopia' is an alternate spelling - it very well may be... what do you think?) The other cool part about the name is that it fits in with the rest of our computers: Mercury (my old machine), Titan, Jupiter, and I think we even have a Pluto.

At any rate, my laptop arrived today, and I thought that it was appropriate for my first REAL computer task to be posting on my blog.

I love the large screen (17"), the keyboard is full size (yes!), but the hand positioning to use the keyboard is going to take some getting used to, and the mouse still drives me nuts (one reason I postponed getting a laptop), but I am sure I will get used to it sooner... or maybe later. A lot later.

My mood is fairly content at the moment.


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